Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Some stuff stolen from you


18th august, 2012 (pages from the past)

Okay, here is something that a perfectly malfunctioning brain would say. Cerebral circuitry going haywire. It is just a diary entry and NOT* a blog! (*I am publishing this the way i wrote it one and half  years back)

So, it is my ex-girlfriend, the most boring thing to talk about these days. 7 billion people , 3.5 billion male approximately, if each of them start writing a love letter, or a diary entry or a memoir, they would have wasted a minimum of 3.5 billion pages. Of course, which are not just normal pages but cards, posters, charts, designer paper etc. I wonder how many trees we will save if we just stop itching our past by scribbling anything.

I hate to admit it but yeah you are right, I have had kind of a good and a bad experience both, of which the latter was something that should be stuffed down the closet. And yeah she is beautiful, sweet, nice, caring and overall a perfect specimen of the opposite sex as in all other stories (now just don’t lose yourself in somebody’s thoughts already). Bottom line, no matter how much in love you are, after all she is a human like us, and not a goddess.

Anyway, don’t want to sound more crappy and pathetic, IF YOU ARE IN LOVE, continue reading. These are some sweet advices that come straight from a guy whom the concept of eternal true love fooled thrice. Now some of you guys might just be wondering how good an achievement is that, but seriously when you come out at the other end, you will be blessed with repulsive wisdom.

“LOVE HER A LOT, BUT LOVE YOURSELF A BIT MORE”

When the next time you are thinking of buying your girlfriend a gift worth $2000, buy yourself stuffs, clothes, anything worth $4000 which make you look sexier, appealing and attractive to all the other girls. The world will love it.

“I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, TILL ETERNITY”- DON’T EVER SAY THIS!

A free candy doesn’t taste as sweet as a candy for which you have to sacrifice your li’l penny. Being a B.tech undergraduate and my immense experience in crisis management, one advice has always come in handy, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Now eggs and basket can be time and the girl, money and the girl, attention and the girl, and anything that your imagination can throw up. So the new line goes. “I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, AS LONG AS YOU WANT THAT”. That’s a nice safety net. At least you don’t end up being called a hypocrite when the rest of the world is falling apart around you.

“SEALED WITH A KISS”

Feeling insecure? Is your girlfriend getting a lot of undue attention? Feeling inferior to the hosts of her admirers? Concentrate everything on that one particular date. Make it the most beautiful thing that could happen. Make her look the most beautiful thing on earth. And when all the people are noticing her, just hold her and give her the best kiss you got, no matter where you are, and who you are with. With that one move, you make her forget the world, and the world forgets her because she is with you.
To all those little sweet kids who are still living in the Cinderella land, love isn’t always the sweetest thing.

“SHE CAN ONLY BE YOUR WET DREAM”

People still looking for first love, still waiting for that first “hello”, I know you will just ignore me now, but don’t make a mess when you finally realise that the girl was never supposed to be yours. Your friends have a life too if not you. Live up to them and chill. They always understand.

“IF SHE LEFT YOU AND YOU ARE UGLY, THEN I AM SORRY BUT YOU ARE LUCKY”

Invest your assets in other aspects of life. Start doing what you love to do. That is how most of the popular people ended up, being popular. The hurt will drive you a long way if you are a serious guy. And anyway, if you are going up in my life, opposite sex will always find you cute.

“YOU ARE MOVING ON??? YEAH EVERY MORON TELLS THAT TO HIMSELF UNTILL HE STARTS GIVING NO FUCK ABOUT HER”

Ctr++

“IF YOU HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN A NUMBER OF TIMES BEFORE”
Pleased to meet you, let’s have beer sometime,

cheers
Wandered-Lost-Crazy

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