Liverpool's Konoplyanka deal "Hijacked"???

29th January, 2014 (in Greenwich Mean Time)

A glorious evening at Anfield, routing Everton 4-0 was the response a spirited Liverpool gave after the frustration of losing out on another player, Salah, to Chelsea. Sigdurssons, Dempseys, Mkhitaryans, Eriksens, Willians, Salahs and now the latest "breaking" news on Konoplyanka. Much hurt and distraught about such hijackings, one cannot resist the curiousity of knowing how these news actually sprang up. Call me jobless or a crazy Liverpool Fan, I monitored how the stories regarding a Spurs hijack of the Konoplyanka deal sprang up in the web.

Praisley Gates came up with the first article headlining "Rogers Remains Hopeful of Making a Major Signing" @01:51.
(A host of rumours aroused with Arda Turan, Hernanes, Mitroglu, Fernanado, Andre Gomes, Daniel Agger for Gokhan Inler etc names wildly thrown by websites all over the world)
Sky Sports came up with the same report @06:00. They were followed by Belfast Telegraph, IB Times, Sports Mole, SoccerSouls, Express & Star, Football 365,Daily Star, RTE, Daily and Sunday Express, ITV, talkSPORT, Liverpool Echo, Bleacher Report, Here is the City, The Independent and Tamworth Herald. (Whoah, thats a lot of articles which say the same thing, speculating)

Here comes Konoplyanka

Daily and Sunday Express took the lead of announcing Liverpool's interest in Yevhen Konoplyanka(had never heard much of him before this except scoring against England in WC qualifiers) @08:00.
Telegraph, Sports Mole, Off the Post, Daily Star, Daily Mail, 101 Great Goals, The Irish Times, Liverpool Echo, Mirror, The Guardian, Metro, ESPN, Give Me Sport, The Sport Review, Soccerlens and Sport.co.uk followed it up. All of them reading, publishing and manipulating others' article.

Here comes Konoplyanka's Dad

The Independent came up with a story @10:53 where the "Dad" says this: "I cannot tell you much but the rumours of an English club are true. He can change clubs later this week". Now here is the list of websites who claimed Konoplyanka's dad whispering the same; Inside Futbol, Bleacher report and Click Liverpool.
Clubcall went a step further with this article @ 11:03 "Konoplyanka's agent arrives for 16 million pounds move talks (My laptop keyboard doesn't have a Sterling symbol hence "pounds"). CaughtOffside, This is Anfield, Footy Matters, Goal.com, fanatix, Gulf News, Metro, Sports Mole, Here is The City, Sky Sports, Daily Star and London Evening Standard as usual.

"Hijack threats"

Sabotage Times thought it was funny to publish an article "Konoplyanka to Liverpool: Should Chelsea Hijack Move Just For A Laugh?" @12:47.
Daily Star reported "Liverpool jet out to seal 15 mil pound deal" (I wonder who jetted out and when but if it was Ian Ayre in there, i wouldn't mind an actual flight hijack).
"Gazumped again? Spurs aim to beat Liverpool to Dnipro's Yevhen Konoplyanka" @18:29 published by Off the Post was "the first artice" (concentrate here) in the web speculating a move by Spurs is awaited. Is it the scouts of Spurs, or the fans of Spurs, or Daniel Levy himself might have brought that story out through Off the Post. Or was it another media hype by the websites to increase the no. of hits? Or was it the agent of Konoplyanka who started throwing in some names to encourage a bidding war and cash in some extra? The truth is yet to be known.
Hijack or not, it certainly brought similar stories by Cartilage Free Captain, 101 Great Goals, Metro, The Hard Tackle, Here is The City,  The Independent, The Telegraph and Click Liverpool.
"Transfer Clock: United in for Konoplyanka? Liverpool MD jets out" @00:01 30th January, is another twist in the tale by Here is the City leaving no stones unturned to blow stories out of proportion.
5 more "special reports" of an imminent Spurs hijack have come since "YOU" started reading this blog post.


What we learned:

1) The truth about Spurs hijack is only known to the editors of Off the Post (being the first article).
2) Every article by every website is a permutation/combination or active/passive translation of the other.
3) Fans (esp Keyboard Warriors) have been engaged in another "WAR of WORDS".
4) The New Indian Express caught up with the news exactly 16 hours later from the first report... shows the plight of Liverpool Fans in India.
5) I can spell and pronounce Yevhen Konoplyanka in 5 different languages thanks to this herculean blog (kidding). A special message to Ian Ayre "better get him to anfield and save us the embarassment".


YNWA
Wandered-Lost-Crazy

Some stuff stolen from you

18^th august, 2012 (pages from the past)

Okay, here is something that a perfectly malfunctioning brain would say. Cerebral circuitry going haywire. It is just a diary entry and NOT* a blog! (*I am publishing this the way i wrote it one and half  years back)

So, it is my ex-girlfriend, the most boring thing to talk about these days. 7 billion people , 3.5 billion male approximately, if each of them start writing a love letter, or a diary entry or a memoir, they would have wasted a minimum of 3.5 billion pages. Of course, which are not just normal pages but cards, posters, charts, designer paper etc. I wonder how many trees we will save if we just stop itching our past by scribbling anything.

I hate to admit it but yeah you are right, I have had kind of a good and a bad experience both, of which the latter was something that should be stuffed down the closet. And yeah she is beautiful, sweet, nice, caring and overall a perfect specimen of the opposite sex as in all other stories (now just don’t lose yourself in somebody’s thoughts already). Bottom line, no matter how much in love you are, after all she is a human like us, and not a goddess.

Anyway, don’t want to sound more crappy and pathetic, IF YOU ARE IN LOVE, continue reading. These are some sweet advices that come straight from a guy whom the concept of eternal true love fooled thrice. Now some of you guys might just be wondering how good an achievement is that, but seriously when you come out at the other end, you will be blessed with repulsive wisdom.

“LOVE HER A LOT, BUT LOVE YOURSELF A BIT MORE”

When the next time you are thinking of buying your girlfriend a gift worth $2000, buy yourself stuffs, clothes, anything worth $4000 which make you look sexier, appealing and attractive to all the other girls. The world will love it.

“I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, TILL ETERNITY”- DON’T EVER SAY THIS!

A free candy doesn’t taste as sweet as a candy for which you have to sacrifice your li’l penny. Being a B.tech undergraduate and my immense experience in crisis management, one advice has always come in handy, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Now eggs and basket can be time and the girl, money and the girl, attention and the girl, and anything that your imagination can throw up. So the new line goes. “I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, AS LONG AS YOU WANT THAT”. That’s a nice safety net. At least you don’t end up being called a hypocrite when the rest of the world is falling apart around you.

“SEALED WITH A KISS”

Feeling insecure? Is your girlfriend getting a lot of undue attention? Feeling inferior to the hosts of her admirers? Concentrate everything on that one particular date. Make it the most beautiful thing that could happen. Make her look the most beautiful thing on earth. And when all the people are noticing her, just hold her and give her the best kiss you got, no matter where you are, and who you are with. With that one move, you make her forget the world, and the world forgets her because she is with you.

To all those little sweet kids who are still living in the Cinderella land, love isn’t always the sweetest thing.

“SHE CAN ONLY BE YOUR WET DREAM”

People still looking for first love, still waiting for that first “hello”, I know you will just ignore me now, but don’t make a mess when you finally realise that the girl was never supposed to be yours. Your friends have a life too if not you. Live up to them and chill. They always understand.

“IF SHE LEFT YOU AND YOU ARE UGLY, THEN I AM SORRY BUT YOU ARE LUCKY”

Invest your assets in other aspects of life. Start doing what you love to do. That is how most of the popular people ended up, being popular. The hurt will drive you a long way if you are a serious guy. And anyway, if you are going up in my life, opposite sex will always find you cute.

“YOU ARE MOVING ON??? YEAH EVERY MORON TELLS THAT TO HIMSELF UNTILL HE STARTS GIVING NO FUCK ABOUT HER”

Ctr++

“IF YOU HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN A NUMBER OF TIMES BEFORE”

Pleased to meet you, let’s have beer sometime,

cheers

Wandered-Lost-Crazy

Winning the wackiest convo trip award

Disclaimer: Whatever is said in the article is a figment of the writer's imagination. Not even Experts are advised to try it.

DAY 0
"It's a beautiful day.. don't let it get away"..  I told myself as i hurried over to the taxi waiting outside to take me to the airport (note: refer this http://platterology.blogspot.in/2013/12/not-to-promised-land-again.html for the background story). The flight was in 2 hours, and the last 6 hours were made to strike a deal with the manager to make it happen ... in the name of love-for-my-college. I could hear friend's yelling my name as i "SHerlOCK" them. I could hear my ex-gf telling that she does not care about me making such a "WHOA" sized entry. I could hear beer mugs tinkling, lighters flashing, music pumping and that's how it was meant to be. That's how i thought what 17k worth of tickets will bring me. Infinite Stardom.

DAY 3
"So the convocation is finally over. Had a good time (smiley)"... "Just that had i told mom i was coming or atleast called her i wouldn't have been left outside my house for 9 hours from the 12 hours i had allotted for "surprising" my mom only to realize that she had a school function and she couldn't be reached until its over. "But anyway, had a good time (sighing smiley). Will have 5 bottles of water in my flight back to bangalore to make up for the remaining worth of tickets"

DAY 2
"Oh Fuck! its 17th January"
"But today will be different, I always have a place among the bijuli bibhaaga" ... So gate crashing my electrical tattva party ?? Yeah baby.
(At the party when i enter to make a shock entrance)
Random-guy-on-the-mic: "We celebrate the 1st anniversary of Mr. and Mrs My-ex-gf" . And suddenly the spotlight falls on me (totally out of sorts here 'i am'). Well the people stopped for the moment shocked to see me. Some made instant welcome-home faces but i could still see the creases on forehead. I expected the blaring music to stop like in movies but even that didn't happen and honey singh was still stuck in the blue eyes for a time that seemed like eternity.
Me: "Oh Dear! its 17th January" (what i said, what i meant is up there)
Someone: (whispering) "Since we didn't know you would be coming so we didn't book a place for you, enjoy everything but please pay your share to me"

DAY 1
"So what if the flight got delayed by 7 hours? So what if i missed my train to college? General is always the quota for us" . "Shall i reach the station and call the juniors/friends to pick me up?" . Yup that sounds good, i would shock them out of their sleep to pick me up (Bono sings "the saints' are coming")
12:30 am
"Oh the kids must be tired partying since evening, may be that's why they aren't picking up". Anyway its a good thing because me reaching college will be a total surprise. I'll love the look on their faces.
01:30 am
"Wake up suckers it's me. Wake up!!!! " .Benaam Badshahs are stoned and sleeping."Where are the others?" the Ruffians are in Moksha. "There goes the jinglers of clubs". "Gulti zone doing the lungi dance" "Kaushalites booking an auto and 10 stuffing in each." And Bhubaneswar zone is in ruins. Luckily a joint comes around for me and "Bang.. What an entry"

DAY -1
"Shall i book the tickets".. "What a surprise it will be" .. "just 17k?? friends and college and home coming - priceless"..
Let me roll up one and book the tickets.

peace,
"Wandered-Lost-Crazy"