6th July 2012
It was all happening in slow motion. I felt
like tumbling down the hole of uncertainty with the usual questions again
getting replaced. The movie “The watchmen” had forced me into introspection.
Was I the only one who was thinking? Or are there millions of me who went
through the same thought road as me?
A sense of urgency has caught hold of me.
Somewhere deep down inside I always felt the feeling growing. In my sane mind I
would have laughed at the following line:
“Where are we going to?”
There are people who have questioned the
same already. Why are they still so unheard of? Are they so not sure of themselves?
Have they already found the answer and waiting for the world to know that by themselves?
Why, in the middle of my sweet life, I still yearn for something more. The “more”
being something which has no form, no shape or no kind of its own.
There is this vacancy in my dreams that
keeps on haunting me yet I don’t know where to run to
An average human being: They grow, they
realize what they want to do with their little world, they have dreams, some
want a lifestyle that keeps on motivating them to work, steal or anything. Some
people just don’t get to see the in their own perspective at all. It’s easy to
get fooled by such distant dreams.
“Where do I put myself in?”
I don’t have a dream. I don’t know what future holds for me. The
only thing I have always wanted was to make myself get heard, get noticed,
giving people another possibility of living life. And if you are wondering what
that “possibility“ would be like. Seriously, I don’t know what it is, because,
I am taking the crazy path for the first time. I believe hundreds of thousands
of people would have stepped on something like this. Are they still around or
did they lose themselves in the wilderness of uncertainty.
Something that I did learn from my 20 year
experience, “The humans judge their lives in terms of their emotions”. “You are
the only one who knows how your life has been”
When, you see death approaching, you look
back. If you see all the happy memories rushing back to u, you realize you had
a very good life. And then you make peace with death. Or else if you have
dreams, wishes still fresh, and that you wanted them but couldn’t, u just don’t
get the peace when they say “rest in
peace”.
And as the comedian says, ”that’s the
biggest practical joke we always get tricked into-life”
As we believe and as they say, the big bang
started it all. The “all” refers to a series of incidents leading you to read
this article. That “all” has no significance unless someone acknowledges it.
The Big bang, the stardust, the star, the fusion, atoms and den molecules and
the matter as we define it are nothing
but that “all”. And then the life forms start creeping in. The life forms until
the humans came were just Darwin’s puppets, not intelligent enough.
“What do we observe??”
We observe that we were a miracle, a
chemical reaction, a compound that knew how to sustain itself, and which had a
probability of occurrence equivalent to one in a billion or even much less than
that.
“How was that possible?” “How did something
with that little a chance take place?”
Some people say, “It was God”. Some people
never dared to think. Some never asked themselves. Some people are too
engrossed in their fight for survival that they have a billionth chance
wandering into such distant imagination.
I believe in something that can’t be given
any form. There were a billion worlds that got destroyed in the meantime just
that there were no “beings” to acknowledge them. For us to end up here there
were a billion universes which got destroyed. I say that was the miracle of
life, and a billion universe was the price we had to pay for it. The physicists
call it “theory of parallel universes”.
“What are we getting to?” “Where is the
future leading us to?”
I don’t know, it’s a one in a billionth
chance of me stumbling upon the answers right now in my mind. This is where I
leave for the time being.
Wandered-lost-crazy
